Balance is elusive. Peace is sustainable. A peaceful presence and a peaceful attitude are fully accessible and within reach when I press the pause button in my mind and look to Jesus. I find myself constantly dangling between two extremes – fun and serious, strict and easy-going, scheduled and loosey-goosey, joyful and agitated, content and striving. I’m most of these things simultaneously and both of the little ShelbieShue’s on either shoulder are vying to win… It can drive a girl crazy!
But, I know we are seasonal beings. There’s an ebb and a flow. Spring gives way to summer and then to fall and winter. Joy comes in the morning. I’m both energetic and bone-tired. All too often I allow my emotions to dictate my mood. I let the little annoyances of the day creep in and steal parts of my peace, my calm, my patience.
As I fight to be an engaged mom, I am able to exhale and know that I am choosing all the right things in this season. That’s a key component – In this season. I would love to have a revolving front door, hosting friends regularly and welcoming all into our home, but this isn’t the time for never-ending parties and get-togethers under our roof. For one, there are peanut butter smears on the couch, and I just found blue toothpaste smashed in our rug… Not that I don’t welcome any and all who drop-in and even plan for dinners, but I am definitely not currently the Hostess with the Most-ess. (And, I’m learning to be okay with that!)
Back to balance… it is elusive. Just when I have a stocked fridge, planned meals, food prepped, and a tidy house, I feel the deficit in other areas. Like, can’t we just feel victorious about ONE thing without any mom guilt about the others?!
So, I didn’t play Knight and Dragon for endless hours today, I didn’t read Backhoe Joe fourteen times, and I didn’t hold the baby non-stop… BUT, we did play Knight and Dragon, we did read Backhoe Joe, I did carry and rock the baby, and then we ate a great dinner, and all the sheets are clean. Victory. I watched as Cade and Charis laughed and hugged. I calmed Owen and held him for an extra long time at bedtime. This is enough. This is the good stuff. I’m learning to treasure all the tiny moments. Celebrating my wins and letting all the condemnation and guilt slip away.
What were your wins for the day? Completed errands? Drank eight cups of water? Finished a book? Let’s celebrate our wins together!